just watch…I am not saying I will be healed in the sense of my cancer (though I am sure hoping and praying for it!) but I am talking about a deeper healing. When I am weak…He is strong! And, knowing myself like I do…He will have LOTS of opportunity to be strong in my life in the coming weeks. And let me tell you something you may already know, but I am just learning...He brings fresh and new ways of healing daily into my life. I may fail in my strength and my faith and my courage; He will not! And, thankfully, after all, it is His strength I’ll be leaning on. We’ll watch and pay attention…if you want to share this journey with me, we will all watch together.
I just know.
So about yesterday’s checking in post…surely one of my weak moments…I didn’t have an 8 AM client so I posted around 8AM from my home…and then went to my office…and waiting for me there was an e-mail from a friend, Karma Larsen; not just a friend, but a gifted poet… she had written this poem (below) after receiving an e-mail from me a week or so ago, informing her that I had been diagnosed with cancer. I read this poem having just posted myself … (yes, I often feel like I am posting “myself“)… of the roots of a childhood fear, born around a mythical campfire circa 1960.
And here is my thought…one day I bring to the table a memory…the story of a campfire out of control which burned fear into my childhood heart. Truthfully, I had never been so afraid, nor have I since. Night after night, the frame of my bed shook with me. And what do I receive in return? Here is Karma’s poem, written ahead of my recollection…and around this campfire…is how God heals me for today.... small coincidence? Stretching a bit to get there? Perhaps…
but around this campfire…we are encircled in love, by Love.
just watch….
gathering at campfires
the email comes
cancer / stage four / treatment
shattered, i gather supplies
courage, remembrance, love
bring them to the campfire.
in my sister’s note the women gather
one by one they tell their stories
AIDs palpable there beside them, within them
how, as the new one sobbed
their chairs moved closer and closer
tears on every face
as they encircled her.
i imagine this from high above
the people gathering their bundles
sorrow, sin, remorse
moving toward each other
how, as evening deepened,
the circles would expand and touch
dispelling the darkness.
Karma Larsen
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If you're anything like me and I'm anything like you, tomorrow is looming and even taunting - unless you have some serious counting distractions about!
ReplyDeleteI used to walk the hospital corridors imagining my little brother David holding my right hand and my father David holding my left. Jesus was never, ever far. Did it remove every ounce of fear? No. But I thought today that if you brought us all along with you tomorrow - well, I'll make-believe I'll pass on the joke that we'd distract the doctor(s) while you slipped out the window.
We're with you today, as well. How's about that organic coffee now?