This morning, at 5 AM. I had a talk with Him. Since there is no HIPAA policy that I know of about this sort of thing...I am anxious to share it. I know that there are readers of a variety of faith backgrounds, or no faith at all, and I do not want to be presumptuous or insensitive...please understand...for me... for this morning ...it is not a matter of "faith"...it is a matter of reporting a transcript as I best recall. You make of this what you will....I sailed through radiation day 8 with tears...they must have thought I was in some discomfort, but I couldn't contain what I was feeling as I thought about my morning talk...
JESUS: Steve, come, you are tired and burdened...come rest in ME.
STEVE: yes, yes, I will...you know I love you Jesus, and have loved you unwaveringly for 25 years.
JESUS: rest...
STEVE: I love you, you KNOW my heart; but I am also so less certain of so many things that I for so many years had certainty about...my..."theology" has become muddied...
JESUS: rest, and let me enfold you in My love
STEVE: Jesus, I've neglected you...even this week...I have spent more time reading poetry than reading your Word...why do I so easily drift away?
JESUS: If you want to rest in the lovely sound of the wind...I WILL FIND YOU THERE...AND I WILL BE WITH YOU...AND I WILL FILL YOU WITH MY LOVE, AND YOU WILL KNOW MY VOICE...just rest, now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Your postings and your path wrench at my heart in so many layers....
ReplyDeleteSteve
ReplyDeleteThis morning, also at 5:00am,when I have my quiet time ,I was praying these verses over you: 1Cor 4:17-18-"Our 'light' affliction which is for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things that are unseen." There was a momnent in our journey when this vs struck me, and I was almost insulted by the term "light affliction". However, as time has gone on, I see now that that particular "light affliction" , has comparatively created a deep weight of eternal glory in our lives. The second one-no oun intended at all, is 1Peter 4;12-13 "Beloved, do not think it strange when the FIREY TRIAL which is to try you, as though some strange thing has happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of the sufferings of Christ; that when His glory is revealed, you may be glad with exceeding joy." I loved your dialogue today. I believe it is the dialogue of suffering and love. Debby H
Wonderfully encouraging. What a moment. Many thanks.
ReplyDeleteSteve,
ReplyDeleteIt is with some measure of guilt that I find so much peace in your words, knowing how awful you feel physically. Today's is especially comforting for me and I'm sure for others as well. I pray that writing your thoughts and prayers help you as much as they do those that read them. I count you as one of the blessings in my life.
Steve, I am one of those who has been reading, but not commenting. How does one comment to things that are so profound? My words seem trivial (or maybe it is being so caught up in my own little world that seems so trivial). Anyway, I am writing in part out of guilt (hey, the guilt is all mine...nothing put on me, I do that to myself on occasion). I feel voyeuristic in "watching" and not taking an "active" part in your journey. I have been thinking about the irony that it is through your struggles and pain that you are being more open to revealing yourself and I am taking the time to really get to know you (after all the years I've worked with you) through the words you are sharing here. Perhaps that is what it takes to get beyond the superficial to "something deeper." I thank you for this opportunity you have given me; I feel truly blessed. And, while it may be disconcerting to you, I rejoice that your theology has been less certain as I think it opens one up to more see more possibilities in how God works in our lives. Jesus teaches us that we need to love others for who they are just as we are loved for who we are. The theology isn't what is important. The love we find in God and through God is what is important. I see that in your words. I would love to sit down and talk with you more when you are feeling up to it.
ReplyDeleteBlessing, Kathy F.