Number update: Day 9 radiation (A quarter done!)
Physical update: throat starting to burn more, swallowing a little more difficult, mouth dryness increasing, no nausea today, weight loss halted for the last 4 days, appetite and food taste...don't even ask!
I asked myself the above question in a post a week or two ago...and I said "not yet"
But today I have a different answer. The answer is emphatically "NO." And the reason is this...when I sit with happiness, I cannot catch hold of misery...it eludes me. I now "know" I can feel pain and happiness together...but this weekend there was no room for misery. At least that is my reality today. Pain is just pain. I had a great weekend; no cruises...no concerts...NO fine dining...just simple stuff... I don't ever remember weather that felt so good, I don't ever remember more appreciating friends (Jim & Julie...you two are the real deal! Cindy D and Cindy N, it made me happy to see you both) and reflecting on the comments here and the calls from family and friends, and watching some TV and spending time with Kathy and with Simcha K. Cat...I felt an immensity of happiness and gratitude.
I am not the first person who gets really sick and suddenly feels a new lease and value to life...it's almost a cliche...but living it is an altogether remarkable experience. And sharing it with others is just plain rich. I am living it today; I know pain and discomfort will grow, and God willing...I will get past that...and I just don't know yet what will come of me...is this a "transformation" or is it a detour?...I pray the former...but each day brings a bit of a new reality...and today my reality... feels tremendous!
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Steve, Thanks for the high and lofty compliment. We appreciate that very much. The visit with you and Kathy was a real treat. Keep on truckin.
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