Slowly is how it is going. I continue to see 3 clients a day, but that is difficult and that wears me out. Restoration of my energy level just seems to be at a standstill. Walking a block is about all I can do, and if I push it a little, I pay for it. I don't know how I walked a mile a few weeks ago, but I don't have that energy now. I am drinking Ensure, and I struggle to get 5 bottles consumed daily (1750) calories. More often than not, I only make it to four...(1400 calories) so I have not put back any weight. I am sleeping 6 hours a night, and thankful for that. I originally pictured myself eating a big Thanksgiving dinner, but, at this point, I still have no appetite, no taste buds, and eating(drinking) makes me feel worse. Water burns my tongue. I choked down a plain poached egg this morning, but it was a very unpleasant experience, and left me not wanting to eat any food again for awhile. I have learned to tolerate Ensure, and that's about it. Kathy made some Vanilla pudding for me, so I will try a spoon of that this evening. I mixed a Banana in a bottle of Ensure, but that, too, badly burned my tongue...I can't figure that out.
I struggle at times with feeling any sense of purpose right now and lying around is not conducive to feeling meaning and value. As you can tell, today I am feeling discouraged. I have better days than this, but then, back down I go. It's still a roller coaster, though I am much further along than I was a month ago...By the way...it is now one full month since I completed treatment...where is the energy????? where are my taste buds??? where is my appetite??? where is the return to normalcy for my salivary glands????
Where is the H1N1 vaccine?????
I watched about 30 hours of football this weekend (the Huskers beat the Jayhawks) ...tonight...more TV...I must watch Iron Chef to see what they are cooking up for Thanksgiving in Kitchen Stadium.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
A year from now you'll be on weight watchers with me - Hang in there - christmas dinner is way better than thanksgiving dinner anyway - I always go home hungry from thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteAnn
Just want you to know that we continue to pray for your recovery of strength and taste. They are two things that one easily takes for granted. Thanks for sharing your struggles. Keep the pace steady. Take care and God bless.
ReplyDeleteWaiting... It's one of the cruelest parts of the cancer experience. Waiting for the diagnosis, waiting to get through treatment, waiting for signs that it's over, that real life is back. For me, it was all about hair. Skin to peach fuzz to buzz cut to pixie to shag to my good old bad old hair, it did finally,finally happen. Here's to the taste buds slowly budding, the dying of the burn, the cells stacking themselves into your true good old bad old bagel-loving self. Thanks for poems on hard days and honesty during the anvil storms. What you radiate reaches far beyond your office and reaches many more than three peope.
ReplyDelete