I think that for the last three days I have hit a plateau. Each day has been fairly good, but each evening I have worn down early. I saw clients again today, and that went well, again, (I give thanks for that) , but then I get home and I feel exhausted and physically shot. So my evenings (5:00-10:00PM) haven't been so hot. Since the previous week was a week of noticeable progress, it is a bit discouraging to just be standing still for the past three days and to feel lousy during the evenings...However, as I write this I realize I must keep this in perspective...so
Here is the good stuff:
I have been sleeping well.
I have been able to see clients.
I have not been physically sick to my stomach.
I still have Kathy and family support.
I believe God is still with me.
I have had more contact with friends, and that has been so uplifting.
I still get incredible encouragement from comments on this blog.
I have been able to drink a bottle of "boost" each day (just one).
I have been able to get out of the house to go to my office, stores, and for short walks.
Here is the not so good stuff
I am just barely maintaining weight and hydration...when I have a liquid can or bottle, I always feel worse for a while. I am barely able to get 1400 liquid calories down a day...I should be doing around 1800-2000. My weight has dropped from 162 pounds pretreatment to 139 pounds today.
I have an awful bad taste and have either bad saliva (or no saliva) in my mouth all the time, that I can't shake.
I get worn down and worn out very easily.
I still am needing a dose of hydrocodone each evening.
I have no taste buds, and it is still difficult (painful) to swallow.
There it is. I shouldn't complain as I am miles beyond where I was two weeks ago. When I think back on where I was a month ago, it is almost too painful to even imagine that I really went through all that.
I still want to and hope to and strive to (at times) live this word, and it doesn't sound as if I am doing a great job, just at this moment...
GRATITUDE
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think you may be doing better than you think. You have just added a lot(work) to your life and you have maintained. Sounds pretty good to me. Keep pouring the boost down. Thanks for sharing. God bless.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing you can take on so much so soon.I hope you catch up with yourself in short order. Here's to a new year with better (much better!) things in it.
ReplyDeleteSteve: It is so good to see your light in the window at work. Please take it slow and don't overdo it. Your recovery is amazing and clearly blessed by the Lord!
ReplyDeleteSteve...look at your list again...it's a landslide victory for the 'pros' vs the 'cons'...like you said, a plateau, not a backslide...enjoy and rejoice in the progress you are making!...bruce g.
ReplyDeleteOh crap...I almost forgot to remember... the 5th day of November...HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE!...Bruce G
ReplyDeleteThere is a story that I like... Travelers in Africa hired help for carrying their gear through the country. The first day they made extra ordinary distance in record time. They were excited to get to where they were going ahead of schedule. The next day, however, they were confused why the local tribesmen they hired continued to sit; despite efforts to get them to move on. The response from them was that they had worked too hard the day before and were now waiting for their souls to catch up with their bodies..... Evening may be that time for you....you have traveled far and experienced much during the day....it is a time for your soul to catch up with your body. May you experience it as a time of grace and rest.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
M & M
Steve, A very reliable source informed me that today is your birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ReplyDeleteI think it sounds like you've made amazing progress...especially when I consider that if I happen to be home from the way too hectic life I seem to be in, from 5-10 pm I'm a worthless, emotionally and physically exhausted semi-human being. I had meant to get in touch with you over my fall break but then the volleyball schedule and some unanticipated teen drama squelched the relaxation and free time that I thought I had on my agenda. I miss our sittings. Glad to hear you are better, much better really! You survived this experience of chemo and radiation and now onto more healing! Jodi
ReplyDeleteWhen you are living in your own body, you never are able to see the gains that you are making like those who are not actually living it. Just as a reader of this blog, I can see that you ARE getting better, you ARE feeling stronger - physically and emotionally. Don't require so much of yourself. Allow your body to recover all evening from those long days. You could not have been doing this 2 weeks ago. What great gains you are making! You continue to be lifted up to The Father in our home. Take care.
ReplyDeleteSteve,
ReplyDeleteI still think you may be pushing yourself to hard. Happy Birthday dear friend. Cd
Birthday boy, birthday boy! I wish you every desire you have for yourself and more.... and celebrate your passages through the valleys of the shadow of death. I pray soon for your last day of Boost while you tuck in and savor the pleasures of delighted taste once again. And next time I phone with a song, I'll try to keep my pitch a little more solid for the first few seconds. Praise God the timing was right, though. Now if I could always Listen this well..... :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy Day, you!