This past weekend, I was talking to a neighbor about how much I was appreciating regaining certain functions that I had lost (such as taste, energy, etc.). She wondered if it was a little like a kid feels who learns something new, like riding a bicycle for the first time, but even better because I have a larger perspective. She was right. I did my pre-cancer two mile walk around the streets of my neighborhood a few days ago for the first time in nine months. My legs were like jelly when I got home, but I felt really good about it. I ate a hamburger on Sunday, and pizza tonight and they both tasted so incredibly wonderful that it is hard to describe how much I enjoyed the experience. I had the energy to see six clients on Monday and I ended the day feeling invigorated. These things were all routine nine months ago. Now...it's as if these experiences are all coming to me as with a newness of one who has never known these before. This is a unique blessing...how many people get to re-experience pizza and have it taste like he or she is discovering this delightful food for the first time? Imagine that!
In a more general sense, regaining health has made so much of my life feel new. So, I was wondering...how can I keep this "excitement" of the newness of my life alive? How much we lose as we go through the years!!! The other day, I saw a toddler walking with his mother bend over and pick a dandelion with absolute delight! What joy we surrender as years go by. Why can't we preserve the freshness and wonder that surrounds our lives so fully as children...
Guess what? I feel like I am getting to do this...and it's great! I am using my "new" life as a grand experiment in not letting these things become "ordinary" and routine again. The "ordinary" is really quite extraordinary! Imagine if you lost your eyesight for six months to suddenly have it restored...The colors, the sunrises, the sunsets, the twilight would all seem so spectacular. Well, they are spectacular (and so is the taste of pizza and a two mile walk on a spring day)! It seems we have to lose something to fully appreciate it...well, it was so for me, anyway...though this time, I am striving not to take any of the joy for granted and I am grateful for it all. Every day. It is always fresh and new.
There is one more thing that is new every day, if only we could come to fully appreciate it...
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
--- Lamentations 3:22-23
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So glad to hear that new aspects of recovery continue to happen each day. I really like the verse. I wish I could hang on to the truth for more than a few seconds at a time. How easily it slips away.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts, Steve.... and I love hearing of your joy and delight. In my own ways I understand it, even without the pizza and hamburger but my own senses of WOW! Gratitude is big medicine.
ReplyDeleteThere's a hymn fragment I'm remembering-- might not be the exact words, but it's something like, "New every morning is the love our waking and uprising prove..."
ReplyDeleteAlso, Shakespeare has a character (Theseus in Midsummer Night's Dream maybe?) offer this wish: "Joy, gentle friends, joy and fresh days of love accompany our hearts..." Fresh days of love to you and yours.