SO...today was the day. I had three types of exams; three points of data. These were:
1. CT scan
2. PET scan
3. The ENT and medical oncologist's physical exam...looking, feeling, etc.
The results were mixed.
1. The CT scan did not show any tumor or indication of cancer...it was good news.
2. The physical exam by both Doctors did not show any signs of cancer.... that was good news.
3. However...the PET scan showed a "hot" spot that lit up on my tonsil. This does not necessarily mean there is still cancer; it could just be an indication of inflammation, or it could mean there are some cancer cells that are dying but are still hanging around, and may yet die. OR...it could mean there is still cancer on my tonsil, and surgery will be necessary... surgery that could result in permanent swallowing or voice impairment as they would need to take a piece of the base of my tongue and do some reconstruction.
The two options that were given me were to do a surgical biopsy or wait four to six weeks and do the scans again. The oncologist suggested that I wait, and indicated if it were him, he would wait and redo the scans. The ENT said both options were viable. My brother-in-law, an ENT at Wisconsin, stated he would definitely wait and re-do the scans, and said a biopsy would be hit and miss, since nothing is really visible from the physical exam or CT scan. And if a biopsy showed two or three of five cancer cells...then what?... do surgery that could be permanently damaging when it is possible those cells that are left would die on their own?
I think I will wait a month and have the scans done again. I am not celebrating...as the news falls in a grey area... it could be better, it could be worse... it could be a lot worse! I was crushed at first, as I was really hopeful of coming home "cured" based on the statistical probabilities. But, the oncologist indicated I might, in fact, already be cured, and the next round of scans could well yield the results I was hoping for.
So, it is back to waiting. I appreciate all your prayers, and I know God listens. What exactly He has in mind for this mess is still uncertain.
Overall, I continue to feel some gains in energy and I am eating more and varied foods...I had roast beef and gravy and veggies the last two nights, and that went OK so long as every bite was small and floating in gravy. My energy is OK...and though I was really disappointed with the lack of a clear picture, I think I will again try to regain an optimistic outlook. The waiting is difficult, and thinking about the worst possibilities are overwhelming to me, so I must try not to dwell there.
Darn...I had the "victory" post all worked out in my head...
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I've been thinking about you all week, knowing how difficult the waiting is for you. I understand your disappointment having to leave the doctor's office without a clear victory over the cancer, but have faith that these bad-ass cancer cells are dying as we are writing, speaking, praying them away. I am delighted that you are eating more foods! I'm sure this provides you with hope for the future. Hang in there...hopefully we can get together soon. Jodi
ReplyDeleteGreat to talk to you tonight. We continue to pray regularly for you. I guess I don't have much more to say in light of the phone conversation. My hope and prayer, God permitting, is that we will see that "victory post" in the near future. Proverbs 13:12
ReplyDeleteYou've been heavy in my prayer heart all weekend, with my own 'tude towards God surprising me with some bratty edges. Damn, I can't even pray for my friend Steve without some character defects slithering into the mix! I shall continue to pray, warts and all - and ask Jesus to take away all that is dark, difficult, fearful and downright unnerving.
ReplyDeleteMaybe some blueberries after your roast beef 'n gravy?
Steve,I'm sorry you're stuck with more waiting but joyful for the good results reported so far. The pending news a little like the sweepstake ads-- "You may already be a winner!" Well, actually you most definitely ARE already a winner! May all cancer cells everywhere end their miserable existences as soon as possible. You and your family are in my prayers every day and in God's loving heart always.
ReplyDeleteSteve- we're all looking forward to sharing your eventual victory post...so for now, we'll wait with you. in the meantime, keep eating, enjoy your rejuvenating palate and get stronger...2 1/2 out of 3 on the exams...not a bad score...am rooting that time out you hit the trifecta. take care... Bruce G.
ReplyDeleteSteve - I'm glad to hear all of the good news and hopefully more will be coming your way soon. I know how hard the waiting can be so hang in there!
ReplyDeleteIn my thoughts . . .
Joyce
Steve, I cannot add anything meaningful to what others have said.Is there any merit to waiting the full six weeks before rescanning? Would that perhaps give the "residual inflammation" hypothesis the clearest means of revealing itself? Maybe something to think about. NOT intended as advice but rather an observation...You are in my thoughts and prayers, as many others have echoed.
ReplyDeleteWaiting seems both like the best course and the hardest. We all hate waiting! Thank god for gravy and God be with you.
ReplyDeleteStill praying......Hoping you are drawing strength from The Lord and from others who are taking you to The Father on a daily basis!
ReplyDeleteJust a note to let you know we are praying for you. Rejoicing with you over the good news; waiting with you on the "not yet" news. Celebrating the gift of blueberries, and a brother in law who is an ENT rather than a podiatrist :)
ReplyDeleteM & M